Uncovering the Healer Within - Part I

Uncovering the Healer Within

YOU are the primary healer.

Entering into a positive emotional relationship with yourself is the most powerful, self-healing health action you can do for your health. Most of us need a lot of help in this area. When we do not think positively about ourselves and accept ourselves for who we are, we begin to set up negative thought patterns.

The act of not accepting ourselves as the already perfect, amazing, un-flawed, creative being that we are, many will find themselves plagued by feelings of self hatred. This may sound excessive or harsh, but let me explain. If you get to know anyone at a deeper level you will notice that this emotion runs very deep within their psyche.

We call self hatred by another name to mask the harshness of it. We refer to it as low self-esteem. Inside many, there is a constant struggle for self-esteem that is covering the self hatred. The struggle for self-esteem rarely stops. In our media driven, overly exposed social reality, many are trying to be special in some way to prove their self worth.

It may not be shown consciously, but it will show in behavior as underachieving or overachieving. There are those who try harder than others and then there are those who do not try at all. All in an effort to prove they are worthy by a set of standards set out for themselves in childhood. Our sense of self worth is based upon what we expect from ourselves. When we do reach our goals, most will not acknowledge their accomplishments, but disregard their efforts and success and move onto the next goal on the list. We demand an impossible perfection from ourselves. 

Perfectionism. Then we judge and reject ourselves when we do not meet our expectations. This list of demands we put upon ourselves is never ending and completion is always out of reach. As we achieve a goal we move onto the next one and devalue the last by not acknowledging it. We do not allow the accomplishment to sink in or congratulate ourselves for what we have done or for the struggles we have gone through to reach this point in our own evolution. Just ask an artist about how much they like their work and what they have accomplished without them being judgmental.

Every time we do not acknowledge our accomplishments and our achievements, we put water on our creative fire within, our inner driving spirit, our thirst for life and our internal life force.

This act takes us farther away from our core essence and our core values of what we stand for as the sovereign, unconditionally loving being that we are. The effects can be very dramatic.

So how and when did this start?

The cause of self-hatred is self -betrayal. As children we had very little sense of what was possible in life. We were raw, naive, purely moldable spirits. We were molded by our environments. We are all products of the environment which we were brought up in, influenced and directed by our parents, teachers, or by other authorities.

Our inner spark that makes each one of us unique and special was pushed aside in order to conform to the environment we were brought up in. Our unconditional loving spirits were influenced by people that were bigger than us. As a small child, whenever they expressed their negative feelings we got scared. Many adults and authority figures overpowered us when they were angry or when we had the need to express our negative feelings we suppressed them. We felt that we could not express our negative feelings out of fear of being overpowered. This overpowering feeling feels life threatening to a child. Therefore we learned to suppress our feelings to our life situations.

Additionally, our families weren't always loving to each other and sometimes expressed fear and hatred. As a child, unable to know how to handle this situation, we would deny our own feelings in order to hide from the pain we experienced in such a situation. This denial of our feelings was our first steps to betrayal of our justified feelings.As we experienced more of these situations in our lives, we continued denying our negative feelings in ourselves and in others.

The resulting effect was being less true to ourselves and our original core essence of being unconditional loving beings. The harder we would try to make things right the more we would feel helpless and become more of the person we were not - betraying who we really were. We were trying to get the love we expected. The more we try and don't succeed to get the love, the more we are convinced that we are unlovable, and the less we are able to love ourselves.

A final point to address that makes the situation even worse. As small children, when we do not succeed at anything or do not get the praise or help on how to succeed even more, inside we feel something is wrong because we still did not receive the love we wanted. Instead we got praise. Praise and love are not the same. So we try harder. This vicious cycle of - succeed more to get more praise, the sequence proves to us even more forcefully that there is something wrong with us.

We feel that something is wrong with us because we are associating ourselves with a false belief. In time, we eventually forget who our real self inside is and we begin to associate ourselves as being the inferior child that suppresses feelings. This suppressed self we can call the false child.

When we do succeed in our life and we get a reward, even if it is genuine love and recognition that we receive, it is the false child who will get the love. The real child will learn to believe that he/she is not worthy of love. Therefore, we never learn to really love ourselves! And WE FORGET WHO WE ARE! This painful cycle of never getting what we need and want continue through into adulthood.

How Break this Cycle!

To break this cycle, you need to identify with the false child and stop trying to rework yourself to please others. You can begin by observing yourself to find out how you manipulate, betray, and reject yourself according to what you think others want from you. During these moments you lose the connection to your TRUE AUTHENTIC SELF. Which is most likely the way you have been since childhood.

To break this cycle of self hatred, ask yourself:

1. How do I sell out and do what I ASSUME authorities want?

2. How do I reject myself for such selling out?

3. What kind of self-hatred do I heap upon myself?

4. Do I reject myself before someone else can?

5. In what situations do i dislike and reject myself more (for instance losing a competition)?

6. What do I do to myself when I lose?

Make a list. On one side of the page write all of the things you find wrong with yourself. On the other, write down how you feel toward yourself about them. Through this self-examination of this sort, you can become aware of your self-judgments and negative feelings about yourself. This will already put you in the driver's seat!!

Once they are found, you have the key to go deeper into the heart of the problem. The next step is to allow those feelings to be noticed.

Next week in PART II of Uncovering the Healer Within, I will discuss how our energetic body (emotional body) holds this energy and how we can release these emotional blocks.

Information for this article was taken from:  Light Emerging, by Barbara Ann Brennan.

If you are anxious about getting some of this cleared or interested in starting your journey to become The Master of Your Own Health?  Please feel free to contact me directly at my Mississauga, Streetsville Personal Training and Coaching facility or email / call me to set up a free consultation.

Peter Traynor 

Holistic Practitioner

www.nudgetraining.com

info@nudgetraining.com